his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
there is glitter all over my balls
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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