I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
