just come out here and I will go home with you...
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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