After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
