so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
