It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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