so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
