i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
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By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
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I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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