The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize