Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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