It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
