I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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