So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
