she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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