Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
