you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
