is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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