So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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