This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
