I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
