Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Randomize
