She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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