Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
