New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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