she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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