People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
