Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
