The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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