There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
