All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
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