I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
