all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
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