no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
