the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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