it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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