I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
