Nicole vs. Life
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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