I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
