margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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