wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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