Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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