How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
