That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
