I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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