By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I am available for nakedness
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
