you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
