you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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