she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
are you so shy because you have an std?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
