so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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