Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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