I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
