Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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