i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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