that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
