she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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