I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
