Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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