you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
