She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Of course I have a pirate flag
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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