Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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