i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
