i always forget guys have bellybuttons
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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