i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
