Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
