I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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