it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
