Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize