I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize