Are we in a gay sports bar?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
