Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
