He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
